I’m not usually big on New Year’s Resolutions–either for the secular or Jewish New Year–but for the Jewish Year 5780 (which commences in just a few hours), I have resolved to ask “Why?”
I have found that many times in life I have jumped to conclusions about why someone feels the way they do or acts the way they do. I often think that I know what their motivations are. I make assumptions about who they are, their background, their situation, or even their hopes and dreams. Often this is based on the political party they support, the TV News channel they watch, or their views on issues in the US and in Israel. I think we all do that.
Sometimes we nail it, but other times we are not exactly right or completely wrong. How will we ever know if we don’t ask?
This year I am resolving to as “why?” a whole lot more. Instead of thinking that someone is a jerk, or an idiot, or uncaring, I will ask “why do you feel that way?” “Why did you do that?” “Why do you support this?” “Why do you oppose that?”
In the end, it may turn out that I do not like their motivation or their explanation. I might still disagree with that person on an issue. Even so, it least I will have a better understanding of where they are coming from and what makes them tick.
Even better, instead of just dismissing a person out of hand or giving them a round of applause and a bunch of “you rocks,” I will let them know that I am truly interested in them. I think we need more of this in the fractious society in which we live. We all need to stop judging books by their covers and start asking “why?”
Want to know more about why I chose this as my resolution? Perhaps you can ask me why.