I had the good fortune this past weekend to travel to St. Louis for a family wedding. Actually, it was a wedding on my wife’s side of the family, so I am relative newcomer to the scene (17 years!). What a wonderful and joyous experience it was–even when the ceremony was interrupted by a tornado warning that forced us to evacuate the ballroom. While in St. Louis, I was also able to worship at the synagogue where I had my first rabbinic position 30 years ago, see some cousins on my side of the family that I had not seen for at least a decade, and also some dear friends who I see more often.
My parents taught me that whenever there is a Simcha (Hebrew for a “Happy Event), I should make every effort to go. There will always be sad occasions and that is not the best time or place to reconnect with loved ones. As a child we got in the car or hopped on a plane to Omaha, Minneapolis, Chicago, Wilkes-Barre, El Paso, and places in between for weddings and Bar/Bat Mitzvahs. These are the warmest memories of my childhood.
It is worth noting that when we talk about “family,” there is the family that you “get,” and also the family that you choose. I have dear friends that are family to me. My wife’s family has also become my family. There are many definitions for what family can be. In each case, I make the effort to be there when I can when there is something to celebrate–not just when something tragic has occurred.
Whenever I am at a family gathering or Simcha, I always leave feeling refreshed and energized. [This is also a product of having learned how to avoid the toxic ones in the mix.] Research shows that getting together with family for special occasions or even just for Friday night or Sunday dinner can have a positive effect on our health. In general, individuals with a strong sense of support from family and friends have a brighter outlook and are able to face adversity with greater equanimity. Conversations and interactions with loved ones also help us learn about ourselves and the world around us; these novel experiences help to build and maintain neural pathways. It is actually good for our brains! Reunions often span several generations; the mixing of ages also has a positive impact. Younger folks can learn from the older generation and vice-versa.
I know that as I grow older making an effort to be with family and friends will be all the more important. Some are close by, but many are far away. It can be costly to travel, but for me it is one of the best investments I can make in my health and welfare. I can hardly wait for the next Simcha!
Kosher Fitness 