Tag: family

Five-Year Kidney Donation Anniversary

It has been five years today (May 25) since I donated a kidney to someone whose profile I saw on Facebook who was looking for a kidney. Although he and I were not a match, my willingness to donate meant that we could be part of a paired exchange; my kidney went to someone who was a match, while he received a kidney from someone who was a match for him. Altogether, there were three donors and three recipients. We will be celebrating our five-year anniversary in a few weeks with a lunch in Cleveland.

Unfortunately, the person who received the kidney that I donated passed away 15 months after the surgery, but not from kidney disease. I did feel somewhat cheated that he and I did not get to know each other better; the surgeries took place during the COVID years and it was difficult to meet up. Over the last few years since his passing, I have stayed in touch with his family; my wife and I even went to visit them at their second home in France. I also know that the time after his surgery was transformative for him and his relationship with his family. I do not feel like my donation was “wasted.” There are no guarantees in life.

The person for whom I donated is doing great. He continues to be in wonderful condition. We talk a few times each year by telephone and when he is in Cleveland we try to get together for lunch–although without too much success. It is OK that we are not “besties,” as I did not do this so that I could get something out of it; I just wanted to help someone if I could.

As for me, after the first month or two, I felt myself really coming back to “normal.” My kidney function levels have continued to improve as the remaining kidney his grown to pick up the slack. There were a few side-effects–one that required a minor outpatient procedure–but otherwise I am in good health. I work out at least five times per week and my lab results are normal for my age.

People ask me if I would do it all over again. The answer is “no;” that is, of course, because I only have one kidney left and I need it for me! I am glad that I did it; it was one of the most difficult and rewarding experiences of my life.

It is not often that we get the chance to save a life. I encourage those who might consider this to do some research; you can contact me as well. It won’t be easy, but you won’t regret it either.

Family is Good for your Health

I had the good fortune this past weekend to travel to St. Louis for a family wedding. Actually, it was a wedding on my wife’s side of the family, so I am relative newcomer to the scene (17 years!). What a wonderful and joyous experience it was–even when the ceremony was interrupted by a tornado warning that forced us to evacuate the ballroom. While in St. Louis, I was also able to worship at the synagogue where I had my first rabbinic position 30 years ago, see some cousins on my side of the family that I had not seen for at least a decade, and also some dear friends who I see more often.

My parents taught me that whenever there is a Simcha (Hebrew for a “Happy Event), I should make every effort to go. There will always be sad occasions and that is not the best time or place to reconnect with loved ones. As a child we got in the car or hopped on a plane to Omaha, Minneapolis, Chicago, Wilkes-Barre, El Paso, and places in between for weddings and Bar/Bat Mitzvahs. These are the warmest memories of my childhood.

It is worth noting that when we talk about “family,” there is the family that you “get,” and also the family that you choose. I have dear friends that are family to me. My wife’s family has also become my family. There are many definitions for what family can be. In each case, I make the effort to be there when I can when there is something to celebrate–not just when something tragic has occurred.

Whenever I am at a family gathering or Simcha, I always leave feeling refreshed and energized. [This is also a product of having learned how to avoid the toxic ones in the mix.] Research shows that getting together with family for special occasions or even just for Friday night or Sunday dinner can have a positive effect on our health. In general, individuals with a strong sense of support from family and friends have a brighter outlook and are able to face adversity with greater equanimity. Conversations and interactions with loved ones also help us learn about ourselves and the world around us; these novel experiences help to build and maintain neural pathways. It is actually good for our brains! Reunions often span several generations; the mixing of ages also has a positive impact. Younger folks can learn from the older generation and vice-versa.

I know that as I grow older making an effort to be with family and friends will be all the more important. Some are close by, but many are far away. It can be costly to travel, but for me it is one of the best investments I can make in my health and welfare. I can hardly wait for the next Simcha!