Stay Away from the Gym!*

*A couple of days ago I had a conversation at the gym with two young men; we were in the sauna and one asked “I wonder if the sauna is good for my fever….” Um…what?!?! I had just seen them both working out in the Fitness Center. In the course of the very brief conversation, it came out that the other young man had only slept two hours the night before. Again…um…what?

I am as much of a workout/gym fanatic as the next guy/gal but there are times when I know I should not be at the gym–if not for my own well-being then for the well-being of others who come to workout to get healthy…not sick!

How do I know when to stay home? If I am contagious or otherwise have what appear to be infectious symptoms, I obviously stay home. Otherwise, usually my body tells me. Sometimes I am just so tired that I cannot drag myself out of bed or off the couch; this is my body telling me that it needs a break. Of course, I cannot do this every day, by every once in a while it does occur.

A recent article on http://www.nbcnews.com focused on times when we should stay home from the gym. SPOILER ALERT!!! Here are the subject headings, but it is worth reading the entire article: 1. When we are really stressed. 2. When we are sleep-deprived. 3. When we are feeling under the weather. 4. When we are really sore. 5. When we’ve just checked a marathon off our bucket list. The author, Stephanie Mansour, goes into depth and explains why we sometimes need to step back in order to be more effective when we step forward again.

Luckily I had read the article before the conversation and I told these two men (politely) that they might want to rethink their decision and wait until they are in the proper shape before they head back to the gym. Give this article a read: https://www.nbcnews.com/better/lifestyle/5-times-when-you-shouldn-t-work-out-ncna1068281–especially the next time you are not sure whether you should give it your all…or give it a rest.

The Holocaust, Pushing Myself, and an Admission of how Weird I Am

Image result for columbus jcc obstacle course

Warning: this will be a strange post, but one that will give you some insight into what makes me tick…and how Judaism and Fitness intersect in my life.

When I was younger, I was not athletic at all. This was not helped by the fact that when I was 12 years old I was diagnosed with Crohn’s Disease (and my weight had dropped to 69 pounds). I was not a healthy kid and athletics were not really a thing in my family to begin with.

There were members of my family who were survivors of the Holocaust, and even more who did not survive. I remember learning about the Holocaust when I was in elementary school (too early to see the kind of documentary footage that was shown to me). I remember thinking as a teenager that had I been alive then, I never would have survived. I could not have made it without my medicine. I was weak. I was pale. It sounds morbid, but in the minds of some Jewish people I think we ask ourselves what our fates would have been had we not had the fortune to be on this side of the Atlantic or in the Land of Israel back then

As I grew older, I spoke with cousins who were survivors and heard their stories. Some of them were sent on “death marches” as the war was coming to a close. Concentration and death camps were being dismantled and evacuated, and inmates were forced to walk (or run) westward away from the advancing Red Army. Those who could not keep up were shot or died along the way; some made it until the liberation. I am in awe of my relatives who made the walk despite terrible conditions, inappropriate clothing to protect them from the elements, and a starvation diet. How did they find the strength to go on? What choice did they have?

Over the years in my fitness journey, part of my motivation was to be “ready” physically if things should ever get bad, if history (God forbid) were to repeat itself. When I run and I get tired, I remember those on the forced marches and I push myself to go the distance. This was especially true when I used to train and compete on the Black Diamond Obstacle Course the JCC of Greater Columbus. If you are unfamiliar with the course, it is outstanding and the result of a great deal of effort by committed employees at the JCC there. For a couple of years, the obstacle course was my playground. Often during my training I would think about those living in the forests or on the run in the woods during that dark period; the obstacle course runs through a wooded area by the JCC and near Alum Creek so the setting seems reminiscent. Again, whenever I felt I couldn’t do an obstacle I thought about my relatives, and pushed myself a little further.

I don’t know if this is normal. I used to think I was maybe a little paranoid, but perhaps I am more of a realist. I pray that things will never get back to the terrible horrors of WWII, but now when I think about it, I am convinced that I would have a much better chance of surviving than I did as a teenager. I am fitter, have greater endurance, and have tested my mettle on a few occasions. But who knows?

This is not my total motivation for fitness. In actuality, I want to stay healthy for my wife and kids…and someday grand-kids (?). I want to get the most out of life for as long as I can. I want to be fit–not because of fears from the past, but because of my hope for the future.

Following Abram Outside of Our Comfort Zones

There is an expression in the fitness world that is often found on motivational posters: “If It Doesn’t Challenge You, It Won’t Change You.” In other words, if we are doing exercises that don’t really push us beyond our comfort zone, we won’t see results; using the same weights and the same number of reps over and over is not only a recipe for boredom, but also for disappointment. As a trainer, I continually work on progression, moving my clients from one level of challenge to the next.
This philosophy is true not just with regard to fitness, but in other areas of our lives as well. At work, if we stick to the tasks we know well and never challenge ourselves to learn new skills or new parts of the organization, we will stagnate. In school, if we only take subjects that interest us or are only on one topic, we will never expand our horizons and perhaps even our points of view. In our relationships, if we merely ever stick to the tried and true, there is a danger of allowing love or friendship to slowly die. We must always challenge ourselves.
I am reminded of this especially on this Shabbat when we read Parashat Lech Lecha. The Lord spoke to Abram and told him to go forth from everything with which he was familiar to a new land where God would make him into a great and mighty nation. Talk about getting outside of one’s comfort zone! This was the ultimate challenge and not only did it change Abram (to Abraham!), but it altered the history of humanity.
Change is scary; it is tough to leave behind that with which we are comfortable. One truth in life, however, is that change is inevitable. We can be objects and have things happen to us, or we can be like Abram and be the subjects of our lives by challenging ourselves to be more tomorrow than we are today.

I was going to write about self-doubt…but I wasn’t sure

One of my clients recently shared with me that they are working on trying to defeat self-doubt–not just at the gym but in life in general.

This struck a chord with me as I think it probably does with all of us. Sometimes we listen to the voices of others who tell us we cannot accomplish something, but more often it is the voice inside our own head that is telling us that we are unable, unworthy, or even unlovable.

As a relatively new personal trainer (only in the industry for about 18 months), I have my doubts as well. I don’t know the name of every muscle. I don’t always know the perfect exercise for every issue presented to me right off the bat. I have self-doubts about the work that I do.

Funny thing is that it is really all in my head. My clients have no idea that sometimes I feel like I’m winging it. [Unless, of course, they read this blog post!] Then I see the results that my clients are getting and I wonder why I am doubting myself; they are making progress that pleasantly surprises me and them. I remember all the studying I did to past the ACE PT Exam, and all the continuing education and reading I have done since them. Then I tell myself, that maybe I actually do know what I am doing.

I realize that some of my self-doubt comes from being new at this. I remember when I first became a rabbi that I had doubts about my capabilities. When I graduated from seminary I was almost 29 years old; what did I know about anything? I would agonize over sermons, eulogies, classes I would teach, etc. Did members of my congregation even know? [Not unless, of course, the read this blog post!] To this day, I am still in contact with friends from my first pulpit and I hear stories about the difference I made. After 25+ years in the pulpit, I felt good about my “craft.” I was confident that I was able to help people and that I was even ready to mentor others. This came with years of experience–not in my first congregation.

I remind myself of this when self-doubt creeps up at the gym while I am training others; I cut myself some slack and tell myself I don’t have to be perfect. In fact, none of us has to be perfect. No one expects it from us: not our families, not our employers, not our partners, not even God. All we have to do is try to be the best we can be; it may not be enough for some, but that is their problem not mine.

Perhaps a New Year’s Resolution for 2020 will be for me to work on banishing self-doubt–not just at the gym but at life in general. As Stuart Smalley used to say on SNL, “I’m good enough and I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me!”

The morning after…

As I write this message it is Halloween night across America and Dia de los Muertos in many Spanish-speaking countries. I have lots of memories of trick-or-treating as a kid…and of lots of candy too.
I don’t want to comment on whether Jewish families should participate or not, but rather to note that the macabre focus on the dead in Halloween is foreign to Jewish tradition. But wait…what about Yizkor…and Yahrzeits…and Kaddish…and sitting Shiva? It is true that Judaism has a way of memorializing the departed, but death is never glorified. Martyrdom is not something to be admired, but seen as a sometimes necessary evil. The Kaddish prayer is a praise of God and doesn’t even mention death. The Book of Psalms tells us that “the dead cannot praise You [God].” In other words, the preference is to be alive.
The Torah teaches us that we always have a choice. Life and death are before us, so “choose life.” We do not know what happens after we are gone. We do not know for sure about the full nature of the spiritual world. All we can know for sure (and even that in a limited way) is the world of creation in which we live.
It is for this reason that Judaism never came up with a Day of the Dead. Rather, each day is a day to focus on living life to the fullest. May we all be blessed with many years of good health and life! Lechaim!

One Year after the Pittsburgh Synagogue Massacre

It has been just over a year on the Gregorian calendar since that terrible morning (October 27, 2018) in Pittsburgh when a gunman entered the Tree of Life Synagogue and murdered 11 innocent people at prayer services. On the Jewish calendar, the Yahrzeit (anniversary of a death) will not be for a few weeks.

I remember where I was when I heard the news. I was in synagogue here in Cleveland Heights when someone brought the terrible tidings. Details were sketchy but we feared it wasn’t good. Once the details emerged our fears were confirmed.

Within days, the Cleveland Jewish Community–along with other communities across the globe–were organizing memorial services. It felt especially close here in Cleveland since Pittsburgh is just a couple of hours away–closer by just a few miles than even Columbus. In this part of the Midwest there is a lot of mobility and nearby Jewish communities have a sense of kinship and overlapping of families. When I was in high school (having grown up in the Detroit area) I even attended a youth group conference that took place at this synagogue. This was not some far away shooting that affected others; it felt personal.

Since then, there is a feeling among many in the American Jewish community that something has dramatically and fundamentally changed. Our sense of belonging in this country has been challenged; an aspect of Jewish history that has been constant is that in nearly every place where Jews have been settled, we have either been expelled or persecuted or worst. I always thought that the USA was different: it is a democracy (still?!) and a nation made up of immigrants, those whose ancestors were brought here against their will, and a small but important minority of Native Americans. This is a place where anyone regardless of their background can become an American–and that is the way I have always felt.

With Pittsburgh something changed. I wonder whether there really is a future for Jews in America or whether what we see going on now is just the beginning of a long, dark path leading to yet another wandering. On the one hand it is unthinkable, but on the other hand Jewish history tells me otherwise.

I am astounded and angry that so little is done in this country to curb gun violence; when nothing was done after the Sandy Hook Elementary School massacre, I realized this country had a problem in its soul. I am incredulous that many political leaders not only do not speak out against xenophobia but actually promote it. The depths to which levels of discourse in the USA have sunk make it hard to imagine much positive change in the short-term…and perhaps even in the longer-term.

I am sad. My heart aches for the Jewish community of Pittsburgh, for the victim’s families, and for our world. I cannot imagine the loss felt in the Steel City.

I am also afraid. I fear that saner voices will not be heard, that the deafening daily distractions will drown them out. I am afraid that things will get worse for the Jewish community in the US (and elsewhere) that has already had to spend millions to upgrade security. Does your house of worship have an armed security guard during prayer services? Mine does….now. How can we focus on feeding the hungry, pursuing justice, seeking peace, educating our youth, looking after the elderly, and caring for the sick when we must divert funds to simply keep ourselves safe and secure?

I will do what I can at the voting booth as well as by contacting my elected officials. I will demand that steps be taken to put this country back on track and make it the place where ALL Americans feel at home. Hopefully my worst fears will not be realized and next year at this time, we will see a new light shining on our great nation–a light of peace, knowledge, justice and love. We must do more than hope…we must act.

Vegetarian at the Bell

Many of you may recall a couple of months ago that my wife and I tried the Impossible Whopper at Burger King. Overall reviews on that: really good but not necessarily any more healthy than the “regular” stuff. We’d do it again.

I had seen ads for the new vegetarian menu at Taco Bell, so my wife and I have been talking for a while about checking it out.

Before my review, let me share that I am a pescatarian–a vegetarian who eats fish (but not shellfish). When I travel, I usually find vegetarian stuff to eat; this is true even at local restaurants. It is a lot better than it used to be as most people are trying to eat more healthy.

I give you this background to explain the difference between the Taco Bell experience and the Burger King one. At Burger King, it felt like they were trying to replicate the sensation of eating a meat Whopper; a meat substitute was central to that proposition. At Taco Bell, it seems more like their vegetarian menu is just meals without meat. This is not a negative, but just a different expectation; there was no fake ground beef or fake chicken–just meals that contained no meat. I have a feeling I could have accomplished this without an ad campaign to lure me in.

My take on the Taco Bell vegetarian experience? OK. I think the last time I ate there I was in high school (Carter was in the White House), so not a whole lot to compare it to. My wife and I both got one meal; they were OK but not nearly as filling as the Impossible Whopper. I guess I’m supposed to get more than one thing from the menu?

Like the Impossible Whopper, it is nice to know that there are vegetarian options at Taco Bell. Like Burger King, do not think that because it is vegetarian it is any more healthy; although the sour cream is low-fat, this is by no means “health food.” Would I try it again? Perhaps…but not necessarily rushing back.

Struggling with the Creation Story

Parashat Breisheet–the very first Torah portion–is always a joy to read. The stories of the Creation of the World, the Garden of Eden, and the first generations on the planet are among the most well-known in the world.Despite their popularity, there is a fair amount of discussion/controversy around these early accounts of life in our universe.

“True believers” take the story literally and accept that the world came into being exactly as described in the Torah. More progressive readers of the text see Breisheet as a myth created by the ancients to help explain how everything came to exist; those who read it this way find ways to both appreciate the stories and honor their understanding of scientific explanations of the origins of life.

The name Israel (Yisrael in Hebrew) means to struggle with God; we will get to that story in several weeks. A hallmark of Judaism is that we do strive to understand the nature of God and our universe. Not everyone agrees on how everything came about; in fact, it is hard to find a topic on which everyone agrees at all! This is a tradition that we can fine (literally) “in the beginning.”

Nevertheless, we can all value the accounts in Breisheet. They are the legends that have been told over and over by generations upon generations in the Jewish and human family. We may understand that they are not to be taken literally, and at the same time comprehend just how powerful and beautiful the stories are.

Shabbat Shalom!

A Post for National Disabilities Employment Awareness Month 2019 — Rami Ungar The Writer

A repost of a blog post written by my son. Important to remember in the Fitness Community and Jewish Community as well.

As many of you are aware, I am a member of the disabled community, having autism, ADHD, anxiety, and more things than I can name. What many of you might not be aware is that October is National Disability Employment Awareness Month (NDEAM for short) in the United States. And this year’s theme (which I […]
A Post for National Disabilities Employment Awareness Month 2019 — Rami Ungar The Writer

It’s Okay to be Vulnerable

It is natural for us as human beings to want to feel that we are in control of our own destinies. We like to plan for the future, set goals and try to achieve them. Additionally, we may also put up a front to hide our disappointments, pain and embarrassment when those plans do not come to fruition.
No matter how much we think we are in control, the truth is there is so much that is outside of our power. Natural disasters can affect us. Economic trends can touch us and our families. A diagnosis can throw our plans into a tailspin. We also know that we cannot change other people or control their behavior. The only person that we can change is ourselves…and we know how difficult that can be.
The holiday of Sukkot in the middle of which we find ourselves is all about vulnerability. From an historical standpoint, we celebrate the time in the wilderness when we wandered for forty years; we were totally dependent on God’s providence to survive. We celebrate the harvest time; until it happens, we never know whether it will be a year of bounty or a year of scarcity. The sukkah (the temporary hut we build at our homes for the week) is open on top so that rain and wind can get in; we cannot control the weather.
Vulnerability is often seen as a negative, but it also has a positive side. When we are vulnerable we often reach out to others and open ourselves up. When we lower that mask of infallibility, we connect with others. Vulnerability teaches us to be humble–not to abase ourselves, but rather to understand our true place in God’s world.
The Yiddish expression is “Man plans and God laughs.” I don’t know if God laughs, but we know our plans are often sidetracked. When they are, it is an opportunity for us to regroup, refocus and recommit…and to seek comfort and support in those around us.